Chapter Text
"I got a bad disease
Out from my brain is where I bleed
Insanity it seems
Has got me by my soul to squeeze
With all the love from me
With all the dying trees, I scream
The angels in my dream
Had turned to demons of greed, that's mean
Where I go, I just don't know
I got to, got to, got to take it slow
When I find my peace of mind
I'm gonna give you some of my good time"
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS (Single from 1993)
Even if rational was never a word that Jen had associated too much with herself, lately it had become a foreign concept to her entirely and it wasn't hard to pinpoint the exact moment, where it had begun to change: When her and Henry had their first kiss. For so long, this situation that she was in now had been her dream scenario. To find a sweet guy that wasn't too shabby looking, fall in love with him and have him fall for her too, before they lived happily ever after, or at least would stay together until the end of high school. Jack would have been the perfect fit for that role in her life, if he hadn't only been attracted to boys and her search for what she couldn't have with him had led her to Henry. Who, at first at least, had seemed like a perfect replacement, but there in too laid one of the many problems that came with dating him. She couldn't stop seeing him as being "Jack's Replacement" and after she'd let the original version slip through her fingers (even if it was for reasons out of her own control), her desire to hold onto this one was reaching sickening levels, in her own brutally honest estimation of it.
"At what time does your jealousy reach such levels that you should be committed to an insane asylum?" she semi-jokingly asked Jack, while they were hanging out in his room and finally getting some more of the one-on-time, that she'd been missing since the beginning of the summer, and circ*mstances had forced his attention to switch to being on his family and little else. Not that she couldn't understand why it had to be that way, but considering how close they'd been when they were a couple, it had felt like she was losing a close friend that she couldn't afford to lose.
"It can't be that bad!" Jack replied with a comforting smile that sent warm memories flying through Jen's head, back to when they would spend entire evenings lying on her bed and just talking, with him constantly reassuring her that she wasn't some abnormal freak, who would never be able to make the mess that was her life work, no matter how hard that she tried to.
"Oh, it is!" Jen bluntly stated, leaving no doubt about how she felt on the subject. "Every time I even see another girl checking Henry out, it makes my stomach turn, and considering how many times it happens every day, that's a lot of stomach turning for one girl!"
"Can't you just be proud that so many other girls envy you?"
"I've already tried to be, and it didn't work at all! Just the thought that he's doing a biology project with some girl from his class as we speak, is filling my mind with all of these paranoid delusions that he'll fall victim to her seduction techniques. That's if she even has any, like I have no way of knowing if she has or not, so it's crazy of me to think this way!"
"If she's his age, then her barely cultivated seduction techniques probably aren't anything to write home about!" Jack tried reassuring her. "Then again, if he's the same as most of the boys were, when I was his age, he's probably not all that hard to seduce. From what I remember, a little handholding usually did the trick".
"Why did you have to say that?"
"I'm sorry, but it's true! I don't want to ruin this fantasy that you're living out with Henry, but isn't that all it is? I mean, aside from both of you liking old-school rock, how much do you actually have in common with him?" Jack asked, bringing up yet another point that she'd been trying hard to ignore.
"We both like to watch movies" she tried with, even if she knew instantly that it was also just about the weakest reply that she could have come up with.
"Do you like the same kind of movies?"
"Not really. His taste is still kind of childish. If you want the truth, when I asked him what his favorite movie was, I had to stop myself from laughing when he told me that it's the first "Ninja Turtles" movie" she confessed to Jack, who (unlike herself) couldn't help himself from laughing out loud. "It isn't that funny, Jack!"
"No, it's tragic, is what it is! Doesn't that tell you everything you need to know about how it would probably better both for you and Henry, if he found someone who's closer to his own maturity level? Deep down, I think that you already know the answer to that question, or you wouldn't be so afraid of him leaving you for someone, who's probably more compatible with him than you are".
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she had to concede that Jack probably wasn't entirely off in what he was saying. Had she jumped into this thing with Henry on a whim: Yes. Had she jumped head-first into it, without considering for a second if they were emotionally on the same level: Again, sadly the answer was yes, and the big question that she had to ask herself was if this could be ignored long enough, for Henry to eventually grow out of his "Childish Tendencies".
With Pacey having missed a whole two weeks out of their rehearsal time for "Barefoot in the Park" (that was already tightly packed as it was), there was only one solution to it if they were going to get him ready for their opening night in time for it. To cram until they could cram no more! Nikki had even gotten her dad to permit her to have a boy over for once in a rare while, so this was sadly enough the closest that she'd come to having a hookup, since the last time her and Jerome had made out, way back in what felt like it was a lifetime ago already. Not that she wanted to think that way about Pacey, especially since she was sure that she was the only one of them who was having those sorts of feelings, but getting this much alone time with Pacey was still an unforeseen bonus, even if she knew that she would have been better off trying to forget about this doomed crush of hers.
"You know, maybe I am too proper and dignified for you. Maybe you would have been happier with someone a little more colorful and flamboyant like the Greek" Pacey recited his line, still reading straight from the script.
"His name is "The Geek", not "The Greek". Try it again" Nikki responded to him, although it only drew yet another headshake from him.
"If I can't read it correctly from the script, how am I supposed to have all of this memorized in less than six weeks? You need to recast my part, I can't do this!" he desponded stated, as he slumped down in her favorite comfy chair.
"It's only normal for you to be a little nervous in this situation. Try it again".
"What's the use? I'm only barely clinging onto my sanity, as it is! I can't imagine that having to deal with all of this extra stress will do it any good" he told her and in turn, it made her heart go out to him. It didn't help of course, that she'd played such a big part in him changing from the jovial guy that she'd first met at that bus-stop, to a guy who was clearly constantly putting on a mask every morning, to hide how badly he was really doing.
"Look, if you want to back out, then I can perfectly understand why you're doing it. You're probably right too, that stress is the last thing that you need right now, but couldn't this also be an escape from all of that? Or at the least, something else for you to have to think about, instead of all of the bad stuff?" she suggested, and it looked to her as if he wasn't entirely dismissive of the idea of it.
Pacey had only come over to Nikki's dad's house that evening to let her know gently, that he simply couldn't fit having to memorize hundreds of lines of dialogue and scene directions into his head anymore, when trying to pretend like everything was normal with him (when it clearly still wasn't), was enough of a struggle in itself. He actually liked the play and the first time that he'd read through the script, it had filled his head with images of standing applauses, while he soaked up the adulation for what was the first, and probably only time of his life. That he still couldn't get through the first couple of pages of the script without having to sneak a few peeks at it, told him that the prospects of thundering applause being replaced by dead silence was the likelier of the two scenarios and not one, he wanted to be a part of.
Then, he ran into his same old problem, that being how he always hated letting girls down and in particular, girls that he knew were counting on him. Sometimes, he found himself silently wishing that he could be like one of those jerks, who treat girls like they mean nothing to them, but the fate that he had to accept was that he would forever be the people pleaser, especially when it came to young females in trouble. One look into Nikki's brown eyes was all it had taken for his bravery to subside, leaving him yet again in a situation that he wanted to get out of, yet was too scared of saying it out loud and thereby, get out of it the easy way.
Another question was how Joey would react to him coming over to regularly visit another girl in the evenings, when he could have been making out with her, and even with how infinitely trusting that his girlfriend was in him, he still had to think that she would start asking herself some uncomfortable questions after a while and in turn, start demanding some answers from him.
"We can give it one more chance, okay? Just one, though" he tried laying the law down with Nikki, even if he knew that if she asked it of him, he would probably bend as easy as a room-temperature stick of butter and try at least a few more times after that.
"We'll start from the top. Just try to relax and clear your head, okay?" Nikki told him, only they wouldn't get that far before another flashback sent him right back to those horrible moments, where he was lying helpless on the ground and having his face being turned into the mess of black and blue, that it was after the attack, left him not only unable to continue, but unable to talk at all for the next several minutes.
After he'd excused himself and as he rode his bike home, he seriously wondered to himself if he would ever become the same old Pacey again, that he used to be.
If there was one part about Jen that she would want to change about herself, it was how she could become so obsessed with one little thing that she'd seen, that the image of it wouldn't leave her mind and she would be unable to concentrate on anything else, until she was finally able to shake it. All she'd seen that morning was something very innocent and, in all honesty, it should never have been anything for her to worry over, but when she'd seen Henry on his way to class and casually chatting with that Mandy girl, who was also his biology lab partner, it had led to a mountain of jealous feelings coursing through her body in a seemingly never-ending stream. Her first two classes had flown by while she couldn't think about anything else, and with them having an English test that she'd only barely prepared for as it was, she had to get her head back in the game somehow, someway.
"I just know that I'll flunk that test, even before we've begun taking it!" she told Abby, as they were leaving the girl's room after a much-needed visit to it.
"Let me venture a crazy guess: You're paranoid over getting traded in for a younger model once again?" Abby bluntly asked her, as only she could.
"It isn't everything that I think about!"
"No, but it's close to it! Do you know how many times that I've been worried over losing Melissa to another girl? The answer is zero and we've been dating for over half a year, compared to you and Henry, who haven't reached your two-month anniversary yet. If you don't think that you can trust him, just dump him and move on, it's that easy!" Abby tried to convince her, although most of what she said was still falling on deaf ears.
"He hasn't given me reason number one not to trust him, that's the really crazy thing about this! It's all in my head, so there must be some kind of way for me to get past this" she tried telling Abby, who wasn't really buying it.
"All I know is that if you're going to over-react like this every single time that you see him talking to another girl, you'll be in for two extremely long years until high school ends! That's if you even graduate in time, which considering that you can't concentrate on any of your classes, because you constantly have thoughts about Henry clouding your mind, is looking more unlikely by the hour! Who knows, maybe you and him will be classmates in a few years from now!" Abby darkly joked, although Jen also had to concede that there was a big hint of truth to what her friend was saying.
After taking that English test, which she was sure that she'd completely bombed on, since she'd had to blatantly guess on by far the most of her answers, she'd seen Henry and Mandy again talking to one another and now, she felt like perhaps there could be something to actually worry over. Mostly because they sort of looked like a natural couple in the way they were comfortable around each other and smiled all of the time, while they were talking to one another.
While Jen was having her struggles with boyfriends and English tests, Nikki was struggling with a problem of her own. The way that Pacey had basically blacked out of reality in her room the evening before had left her feeling not just shocked and powerless, but more than that filled with a sense of guilt, that after what she'd hoped would be a good night's sleep (and in reality had been her staring up at the ceiling for most of the night, with her getting three hours of sleep, at the most), still hadn't subsided in even the smallest of ways. She'd tried dancing around the subject during breakfast with her dad that morning, while still making sure not to mention Pacey by name and only speaking in general terms. After all, she knew her dad well enough to be sure that he'd demand that Pacey be removed from the play instantly, on the grounds that his mental welfare should always come first, still she wasn't sure if she hadn't been correct, when she'd told him that having a distraction to concentrate on could be just what the doctor ordered for him.
They didn't have any morning classes together that day, so she had to wait until after lunch to ask if he was okay, seeing as she didn't want to bring up in front of all of his friends, how he'd in an instant turned from joking and being like his usual self to a guy, who looked scared and could barely get a word out, until he'd left her alone with a head full of worries for him.
"Did you get home okay?" she tried starting out by casually asking him, while they were sitting next to one another and waiting for their upcoming biology class to start. With him and Joey having practically synchronized their class schedules, it didn't leave her with many chances to talk to him even in semi-private and on a regular school day such as this, she only had this one chance to bring up what had happened.
"I guess so. If I ever manage to get lost in Capeside, that's when it's really time to worry" he jokingly said back. Behind the humor though, was a look of worry on his face to match with the one in his voice.
"I just meant that you weren't acting like your usual self, when you left our house. Pacey, it's nothing to be ashamed of if you need help to get through this. I hope that you know that" she told him, although the look of annoyance on his face told him that this wasn't a subject, he wanted to debate while everyone else in the classroom could overhear it. That he would blow up at her like he did moments later, was something that she wasn't at all prepared for, though.
"That's what everyone tells me, but what the hell do they know, huh?" he practically yelled at her, turning the attention of everyone else in that classroom towards them, in the most uncomfortable way possible. "Is it them, who feels like they're losing their freaking minds, all because some piece of sh*t decided out of the blue to make me his next victim?"
"Pacey, I didn't mean it like that ..."
"No one does, do they? You all try to act so understanding, like you have the faintest clue what it's like to feel like this, when none of you have the slightest idea of the mess that's going on inside of my head, or what it's like to feel like you're half the man, you used to be! I can't take this anymore, sorry!" he frustratedly blurted out, before he stormed out of the classroom leaving an eerie quiet in his wake, not to mention the shocked faces of a few dozen of his classmates to tell the story without any words needing to be spoken, of how his breakdown had affected all of them. Nikki arguably more than any of them.
It hadn't even taken until the end of the school day for the story of Pacey's outburst to spread to the rest of the school, with some even claiming that they'd heard that he'd brought a gun to school and would now have to be put into a mental institution. Joey looked more worried than anyone, except for perhaps Nikki herself, so she felt like she had to take it upon herself to at least try to reassure Joey that Pacey would be okay again, even if she was far from sure that it was actually the case.
"This just isn't like him. If anyone in Capeside has had his share of reasons to be angry with the world, it's Pacey, but he's never showed it before. Not like this, anyway" Joey explained to her after school, while she was clearly fighting a tough fight to stop the tears from flowing from her eyes.
"Joey, I know that I'm not an expert on any of this, far from it. I can't help thinking however, that what happened today was a cry for help".
"I've tried to help him, but all I get from him is being told that he's fine, when he obviously isn't anywhere close to being fine! I know that it's his way of trying to protect me like he's always done, but if he won't be honest with me, then what can I do? Maybe, I should try having sex with him, and see if that works, because I'm running out of options here!" Joey exasperatedly said, before realizing that she'd said something that she probably shouldn't have. In a strange way though, it helped to ease the tension a little bit.
"From one virgin to another, I definitely wouldn't recommend it. I mean, is that you did it with your boyfriend out of pity for him, how you want to remember your first time?" she asked Joey, who blushed a little at having told her something so personal.
"You, who dated a Wanna-Be gangster rapper for how long, are somehow still a virgin?"
"Almost half a year. Luckily for me, he was satisfied as long as I did something else for him, if you know what I mean?"
"I can easily paint that picture in my head by myself, without needing any additional material to work with! Honestly, I don't know what to do about him anymore, Nikki. It's like he switches between two different personalities, and it's impossible to tell when "The Other Pacey" is suddenly going to come out again. I hate to say it and I feel so selfish for even thinking this way, but I don't know how long that I keep subjecting to myself to this emotional turmoil that being the girlfriend of someone like that is putting me through" Joey confessed, and for the first time, Nikki saw an opening that could lead to the impossible happening, with Pacey leaving Joey and choosing to be with herself instead. Not that she took more than a few seconds to think about it, seeing as after all, there were much bigger things at stake here.
Pacey not driving himself crazy being at the absolute top of that list.
After his sudden (and even to himself) unexpected outburst, Pacey had no clue what to do with himself. All he knew was that he couldn't stay hanging around in a place where everyone would be staring weirdly at him for the rest of the day, even more than they already had since he came back, and they'd made him feel like even more of a freak than he already did. He couldn't explain why he'd all of a sudden lost it like he did, except for one way and it wasn't one that he'd ever wanted to consider as an option. That maybe where he belonged was the same kind of hospital that Andie and Jack's mom was in, away from all of the normies who claimed to understand, even if they had no way to.
Not knowing what else to do, he took a long ride on his bike, until he finally made his way back to his mom's house. When he saw two police cruisers parked outside of the house, he had a feeling of what would be awaiting him inside of it, and it almost made him leave again instantly. Still, he was rational enough to know that he wouldn't be able to ignore this for the rest of his life, so he decided to suck it up and as he opened the front door, he took a deep breath for courage.
Waiting for him in the living room was his mother, along with Gretchen, Doug and his dad. It actually felt a bit strange to see his dad being back there after so long where he'd been considered "Persona Non Grata" there, if he had to be honest.
"Pacey, we need to talk about what happened with you at school today" his father began, before his mom took over.
"Your principal called and told me. Pacey, you're scaring the hell out of all of us!" his mom said, as the tears began rolling down her cheeks.
"Don't cry, mom! I'll be fine, I just need to get my head straight again!" he tried telling them, even if he knew that it wouldn't be of much use.
"Is blowing up is some girl's face for no reason what you call being fine?" Gretchen asked him the one question; he didn't want to answer them.
"It didn't have anything to do with her. She just happened to be there" he answered his sister.
"Sorry Pacey, but I'm not buying it" Doug said, apparently out of a need to throw his two cents in. "You can correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she the reason why you were attacked in the first place?"
"I don't hate Nikki, if that's what you're getting at, Doug!" he told off his brother, at a far louder volume than how he'd intended it to come out. "I don't hate anyone, not even the guy that attacked me!"
"I'm sorry Pacey, but that's bull and you know it!" his dad sternly stated, before signaling for Pacey to follow him outside, where they could talk in peace.
"Dad, if this is your way of trying to make up for all of those years, where you were a sh*tty father, it's a little late to start, don't you think?" he asked his dad, after they were out of earshot of the rest of the family. His dad though, took his insult in stride, probably because he was all too aware of the truth that laid behind it.
"I've always wanted the best for you, and if I've done a bad job of showing it, it's probably because my own old man never knew how to give validation either. The best I could hope for from him was one day of not being told that I was a pain in his ass or getting slapped across the face for every little thing, I did wrong. It was a horrible way of growing up that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I hated his guts, Pacey. I really and truly did, as much as it is possible to hate anyone" his dad confessed to him, and although he'd been told hints over the years about how terrible his father's childhood had been, this was the first time that he'd ever heard his dad speak so openly about it. Truth be told, hearing it said this way made his blood run cold. "You can call me a lousy dad, and I probably deserve to hear it, but I know exactly what you're going through, because I went through it all myself. Don't tell your mom or siblings that I told you this, but the one regret that I had at his funeral was that I hadn't done to him much sooner, what his drinking eventually ended up doing to him":
"You wanted to kill him?" a shocked Pacey asked, with the words only barely making their way out of his mouth.
"Every minute of every day, from the day my mother left us and the beatings that he was dishing out to her too, until I fell in love with your mom. It sounds corny, I know, but it's true what they say that only love can conquer hate. You're lucky because you already have Joey to love you and love back, but if you can't be open to her about what you're feeling, then you need to be open about it to someone else, or what happened today won't be the only time that something like this will happen. If you can't bring yourself to open up with any of us or your friends ..."
"If everyone at school found out that I'm seeing a shrink, they'll all think that I'm crazy, even more than they already do. I just want things to go back to normal, where I'm a bottom twenty-percent student that only has his hot girlfriend and little else to be proud of!" he told his dad, who had to smile to himself at his son's response.
"Pacey, you have so much more than that to be proud of. You're the definition of a people person, who's no doubt loved by all of your friends and more than that, you're a fighter, who never lets anything get you down for the ten-count. This is just another fight that you'll end up winning, but you'll only do so if you allow someone to help you get there. You don't have to give me an answer right now, but as chief of police I've had to deal closely with my share of police officers. who have either been beaten up, or shot, or both of the above in the line of duty. I know from being around them how a handful of therapy sessions can make a far bigger difference than you'd think, it would" his dad earnestly told him, and while he hadn't thought so before, Pacey finally began thinking of "Seeking Professional help" as perhaps his best way back to some kind of normality.
Not that Jen couldn't already tell herself what the answer would be, but for final confirmation on if it was crazy for her to continue seeing Henry, she felt like she had to go to the biggest expert that she knew, when it came to the desires and behaviors of teenage boys: Her half-sister Eve, who she'd convinced to give up her usual carnal activities with Dawson, for some sisterly (or half-sisterly, as it was) bonding time.
"How far have you gone with him?" was the first question that Eve asked, after Jen had explained her predicament to her.
"Isn't that a little personal?" Jen asked back, unsure if she wanted to share everything about her private life with someone, whom she only talked to once in a while.
"How far that he's ready and willing to go tells you everything, you need to know about him! If he wants to jump your bones within the first hour of the first date, he's a horn-dog and needs to be dumped immediately! All that a guy like him cares about is sticking his thing inside of you, so he can brag about it to his friends afterwards and he's going to be a lousy lover, because he won't care if it's good for you at all! If, on the other hand, it takes you forever to get a kiss out of a guy, you'll be in for a very long wait, until you get to the really fun stuff!" Eve explained, in no uncertain terms. "Guys like them can often be uptight about just about anything too, which is why I've always stayed away from them. What you want to find is someone, who falls smack-dab in the middle, like I've found in Dawson".
"Did you know from the first moment that that's what he's like?"
"No, but I trusted my gut feeling. What does your gut feeling tell you about Henry?"
"That it'll be a while, until he's ready for even a semi-adult relationship. I mean, holding hands and kissing is nice, but ..."
"You've already been there, done that and now you want more. Am I right?" Eve interruptedly asked her, and all Jen could do was nod in response to it.
"He doesn't even try to feel me up, when we're making out. It's like I'm back in grade seven again, only I'm living through it with the mind of a sixteen-year-old, who's seen enough things to become jaded".
"From how you're describing it, my guess is that you're looking at a year at least, probably closer to two years, before he's ready to have sex. Do you really want to wait that long?"
"It's been over a year already, since the last time that I got some" Jen confessed to Eve, who shot her a sisterly smile in response. "I don't want to have to dump him over something so trivial, but it's been long enough!"
"Jen, it's just called being sixteen! When Henry gets there in his own time, he'll be ready for what you're ready for now, only you'll be eighteen and feeling ready for something more. With me and Dawson, it's perfect since he usually acts a year or two older than he is, and I probably act a year or two younger than I am, so we're on the same playing field. You can try to deny it all that you want, but it won't make any difference".
"I don't want to break his heart either. Breakups really aren't my strong side" Jen had to admit.
"How did you do it the other times, you've had to do it?"
"I've only had to do it twice and the first time it was pretty easy, since it was because my parents had sent me up here to live. All it took was a phone call, he said, "that's okay" and assured me that he didn't blame me for anything, before he wished me the best of luck with my future and that was that. If we don't count when he came up here and tried to win me back, but that's a long story, I won't bore you with. The second time, it kind of worked itself out, when he fell for another girl. Actually, maybe that could be my solution" Jen thought out loud, giving herself an idea that just could end up working.
At least that way she could get out of this relationship of theirs, both without feeling guilty and most importantly of all, it would help to get her mind back on her schoolwork, so she wouldn't someday end up being Henry's classmate!
The rest of Nikki's day had mostly been spent in deep contemplation, both over how she would deal with seeing Pacey again and whether it would be best for him if she tried recasting him in one of the small parts, where there wouldn't be nearly as much that he had to memorize. More importantly, it would take a whole lot of pressure away from him, that he undoubtedly didn't need at this time, where he had much bigger things to deal with than having to star in a school play. If she was going to recast however, it would have to be very soon, or they would end up presenting a barely rehearsed play that would no doubt come off that way too to the audience. With this being her first attempt at directing a play, she still wanted it to be a success and hopefully one, that could lead to many more opportunities like it in her future.
In any case, Pacey's mental well-being had to come first though, no matter what, and she tried telling herself this as a mantra in her head, as she cautiously approached him, while he was getting the books for his first class of the day out of his locker.
"What's it like being back here?" she asked him with a small shy smile to match, that would hopefully seem calming to him.
"Like I'm on a field trip to the zoo, only I'm the Gorilla that they've all come to stare at. Look, about yesterday ..."
"You don't need to explain yourself, Pacey".
"Maybe not, but I want to. I've decided to start seeing a shrink that my dad recommended. He's done a lot of work with police officers, who have gone through worse than what I did".
"That's comforting to hear. It's probably the right decision, too".
"I hope so, at least. Only, these sessions will be in the afternoon after school, so I'll have to drop out of the play. I hate having to leave you hanging like this, but this is something that I have to do" Pacey nervously explained, while she nodded along and tried to appear to be as understanding, as she could be.
"You just worry about getting back to normal, Pacey. That's the only thing that I care about" she answered him, and honestly too.
Of course, it annoyed her to no end that they'd have to basically start from fresh again but making him feel guilty over leaving them high and dry would surely make her feel even worse afterwards, so it wasn't like she had much in the way of choice on the matter. One immediate issue, however, was who was going to fill his part in the play, and it was one she'd have to settle in as close to an instant, as she could, or the chances of their play being a success was practically close to non-existing.
"How does it feel to know that you're officially dating a headcase now?" he asked Joey, who'd volunteered to come down to the psychiatrist's office with him after school, while they sat in his waiting room and waited for it to be his turn.
"I've always known that! The only thing that surprises me is how it could take so long for everyone else to find out too!" she smilingly quipped back at him, in the same way that she used to when they were growing up, and them sending their little insults one another's way was usually one of the highlights of his day.
"Yeah, I guess that it takes one to know one" he joked back at her, getting a cute pout in response.
"I have plenty of reasons to be crazy! My mom's dead, my dad went to jail and my boyfriend is a total deadbeat, who'll probably be working at a gas station ten years from now! Not to mention that I live with a seriously hormonally disturbed lesbian, who I can hear having hot sex with her girlfriend through the wall to my room at least three times a week!"
"You know, that really explains a whole lot about you! How you can think that any self-respecting gas station owner would hire a deadbeat like me though, is what I'm asking myself!" he said to Joey with a cheeky smile to match, that she couldn't stop herself from returning.
"You'll just have to find one without any kind of self-respect, then! I'm proud of you for doing this, in case I hadn't already said it. If we're going to stay together until we're old and grey, I want it to be with the boy that I love and in order to get him back, I need him to be whole again" Joey told him, filling him with a warmth inside like no one else could have.
"So, what I'm hearing is that your plan is to dump me, when I already have one foot in the grave, and I'm too old to find someone else?"
"Dammit, that's my brilliant plan out of the window, now that you know about it! I guess this means that you'll be breaking up with me, huh?"
"Not on your life, Potter!" he told her back, and only a few moments later his name was called, signaling that his turn on the shrink's couch was up next.
Just like that, his healing had finally and truly begun.
END OF CHAPTER SEVENTY
